How to Keep Your Bridesmaids Happy on Your Wedding Day!

Donna Morgan bridesmaids


Even though your wedding is a day all about you and your chance to be the belle of the ball – remember there’s still no excuse to ignore your bridesmaids' needs. Just remember that maintaining a positive, working friendship with your bridesmaids is essential for you to have the perfect wedding day!

Picking the right bridesmaid dress

Choosing the right dress to flatter every type of body in your bridal party is one of the most difficult tasks you will have to take on as a bride. Consider how long it took you to find your dress, and you are just one person! Everyone has issues with one or more parts of their body, so choose a style that will flatter the bridesmaid with the most difficult figure and then see if it will flatter the other bridesmaids. Or allow each bridesmaid to choose a different style in the same fabric and/or color so you don’t have the pressure of trying to make everyone look good in one style. Another alternative is to choose separates that offers different options and sizes for tops and bottoms. Ultimately, you want everyone to feel comfortable and look beautiful on your wedding day.

Prioritizing bridesmaid duties

There are lots of things you'll need your bridesmaids to help you with on your wedding day but make sure you choose the right tasks for the right people.  For example, if “Sarah” is very organized have her be in charge of ordering the bridesmaid dresses for the entire bridal party. These are busy women with lives of their own, and while they will offer to help to help you with your glorious wedding plans, be careful to not take advantage of their assistance. The last thing you want to do is cause a rift by being a bridezilla.  A good rule to follow: Don't ask them to do anything that you wouldn't gladly do for them. That means they probably don't want to spend the entire weekend putting together your programs and licking stamps for your 250 invitations that need to go out.  Sometimes takes like these are better left for your wedding coordinator of a close family member.  

Remember that it is as much about giving to your bridesmaids as receiving

If the bridal shower or bachelorette party your bridesmaids planned is not the party you had hoped for, remember that it really is the thought that counts. They've picked a local neighborhood pub for drinks and snacks and you were thinking high tea at a fancy 5 star hotel? Oh well, they are still your closest friends and relatives so think about the company rather than the outcome of the party. While you can suggest ideas for these parties, ultimately the decisions are not yours, so just keep smiling and be gracious.

As for the giving part, it can be difficult to choose a single gift that all your bridesmaids will love.  Take the time to think about their each individual tastes and buy them a gift that is appropriate for their sense of style.  Bridesmaids also like to feel special so they will definitely appreciate the extra time you spent thinking about them.

To speak or not to speak

Let's face it: Even your best friend can get on your nerves from time to time so even though you are under a lot of stress you need to still be a friend and let the little things go.  Everyone has a list of people in this world with whom they just can't get along. But if any of your bridesmaids end up on that list, keep it a secret. It is not worth ruining your wedding with high drama – remember that it is about you and your fiancée sharing your life together not about whether a bridesmaid didn’t do a task to your liking or not.

Bridesmaids and finances

Money is one of the greatest tension builders between bridesmaids and brides. Before you fall in love with the perfect dress for them – an elegant $300 bridesmaid dress - take stock of your friends' finances. Will they each be able to afford a dress that costs that much along with the shoes, accessories or wraps you envision going with that dress. If you have a mixture of both, always consider the bridesmaid with the least amount of disposable cash first and choose a dress everyone can afford. Be sure to factor in the added expense of alterations as well – at the very least they will need to get it hemmed unless all your bridesmaids are the same height. And unless you're treating, don't expect them to have their wedding hair and makeup done at the same high-end salon that you're going to. 

Also keep in mind that your financially strapped bridesmaids will be spending lots of money on other things for you such as shower gifts, travel expenses, the bachelorette party and wedding gifts -- so it's considerate to make sure they know you don't expect high priced presents. Treat them where you can, perhaps a manicure and pedicure the night before the big day.

Out of town bridesmaids

Weddings rarely take place in a town where all the guests and wedding party live, so help them search for cheap airline flights and hotel rooms, ask family and friends (that live in town) if they're willing to host some of your, upstanding maids. Have a gift of goodies waiting in their rooms to make them comfortable, since chances are you won't be able to entertain them the day before your wedding. This small gesture will mean a lot and it shows that you appreciate them traveling to be a part of your wedding day.

It’s not all about you

Planning a wedding can feel like an overwhelming task – wanting everything to go perfect is exhausting both emotionally and physically. But give yourself a break once in a while. Focusing on your friends and family can actually relieve stress and keep you from losing your mind and help you enjoy the planning of the wedding day more. That's the time to turn to your bridesmaids, who are there to do more than plan showers and buy you drinks. They're there to be your friends, so be sure you do the same for them.